


Sleepless Nights

by Musiccrazed915



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, High School, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-21 08:19:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musiccrazed915/pseuds/Musiccrazed915
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I had given up on sleep a very long time ago. Didn't matter how hard I tried, sleep just wasn't something I managed to do. So, I did things, went out, spent the whole night thinking or cleaning or doing my homework, but I didn't sleep. No, I was very sure I held the record for most sleepless nights.<br/>But honestly? Maybe it was a good thing. Because at least I was there for his sleepless nights.</p><p> </p><p>Only things to belong to me are the story and Alex. Everything else belongs to their respective owners, not me.<br/>Nat belongs to c2ndy2c1d<br/>Chad belongs to chibiceramir<br/>EEnE belongs to Danny Antonucci</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

My life was carefully packed away in three boxes, a backpack, and my laptop carrying case.

Funny. Sure my room had been rather empty, but it felt like there should be more. Like maybe my entire existence was more than a few boxes, that I should have had more of an impact.

But no. My worth, my impact, all of it existed inside my head. Existed in measurements of ideas, of thoughts, of hours upon hours of contemplating the very existence of the universe swirling around us. I existed most strongly in my head, where others couldn't seem to reach me. Where I was pretty sure I didn't want them to reach me.

A horn honking, a knock on my bedroom door. "Alexis? It's time to leave," my mother said, soft, afraid to upset me. Funny how she began to care the moment I was going away. So busy she and father always were, they could barely spare a moment for their only daughter.

I stepped out, a strange man stepping in to get the boxes, and I glanced at my mother. She smiled at me, and though it held affection and worry, I knew what they were. Affection, because the therapist said I needed more of it, needed to be around people more. Worry, because although it had been her idea for me to stay with the son of an old friend of hers, she was worried I might be too much for him. I was too much for most anyone it seemed, as my lack of any friends seemed to show. There existed only me, everyone else existed separately, so far away we might as well exist on completely different planes of existence.

She hugged me, hesitant, as though worried about me. I stood still, waiting for her to release me.

"I go by Alex, Mom," I mumbled, watching her pull away, still looking perfectly immaculate.

She smiled. "Forgive me. I keep forgetting," she said.

Yeah. For the last five years.

I walked out to the car that would be taking me to my new place of residence. The boy, Eddward Vincent, was supposed to be like me. Lonely. Often left alone. But he had friends, friends his parents didn't entirely agree with. Their hope was that we would have a positive influence on each other, though I doubted that would be true. In fact, I was pretty sure it would be my personal hell on earth because as much as I wanted company, I also hated sharing a space with someone.

"I love you, Alex. Call whenever you like," she said, smiling hesitantly, like she wasn't sure how to do it.

I smiled back, a smile that wasn't real, but seemed like it was. I had mastered my facial expressions long ago, because people didn't want to know you were upset, didn't want to know you were tired. Didn't care.

The call pulled away, signifying the start of a journey, one that would take me places I hadn't thought to be possible.

But really, I would learn soon enough. Anything could be possible.


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the playlist I listened to while writing:  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPdhHq-eBbE&list=PLHhabvUmyY6AM5opWGpmINzJwsEOalWWf

The house was empty when I arrived. No movement, no messes, no noise. It looked completely uninhabited, and it was a bit unnerving. I was used to things being a bit out of order, finding small things here and there that proved the house was lived in, but this place had none of that.

I wandered around a bit, studying the sticky notes that covered the walls, all brightly colored, the only proof that people did in fact live here at all.

I went upstairs, walked past the door labeled "Eddward's room" and proceeded to the door that said "Alexis".

I tore off the label, planning to rewrite it so that my name would be written correctly.

The room had my bed, desk, and dresser already placed carefully. the bed directly to my right, pushed against the corner. Desk against the far wall, dresser next to the closet on the left.

It looked exactly like my old room.

I pulled the important things out of my backpack, hung the shirts up in the closet, placed my pants and such in the dresser, and put my laptop on the desk, and sat on my bed.

The room was unlived in. The air tasted stale, like it needed life to be breathed into it.

Barely a minute passed before I decided to become familiar with the house, learn all of places I needed.

The house was a nice one. Clean, modern. Environmentally friendly appliances, a gaming system, magazines on the coffee table, a coffee maker in the kitchen. All the things one could need in a house, and despite the fact that this whole situation made me very uncomfortable, I found myself almost content with it.

No, content was the wrong word. Resigned was far better. Content implied a positive emotion, and what I felt was rather indifferent.

I sat on the couch, settling into it. My weight settled easily into the soft cushioning, and I wondered if the boy himslef would be as welcoming as th house was. Because despite the cool, almost painful cleanliness of it, it felt well lived in, as though people moved and breathed and felt happy here. so unlike home, where no matter the slight lived in appearance, it felt devoid of emotion. Felt empty.

The door creaked a bit, and there were voices, one loud, the kind of voice that demanded attention, but didn't often get it. Another, speaking of some sort of alien race, and a third, soft, slightly timid, telling them to please be quiet, the girl might be here and we musn't scare her away.

"Relax, sockhead. Wouldn't someone text you if she were here?" the loud voice asked.

I held absoluetly still, as though stillness would keep them from noticing me, though I knew well it wouldn't work.

Sure enough, when they entered the living room they saw me, and froze.

I didn't know why they looked so taken aback. I wasn't very physically intimidating. I stood at 5' 4", and had a rather slender build, lacking in any muscle tone. I had naturally large, soft eyes in a shade of dark blue surrounded by glasses and black hair cut short with bangs that fell almost to my eyes. Everything about me screamed soft despite my dark clothing.

I stood, shoulders slumped a bit, extending my hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Alex," I said.

The one with the beanie quickly shook off the surprise, and approached, taking my hand to shake once, then release. "It's very nice to meet you, Alex. I am Eddward, but you may call me Double D," he said, and smiled at me.

He was thin in the way girls tried to be thin. His skin was the same shade of pale as mine was, his eyes just a few shades lighter than mine, and I realized we looked similar. So similar, in fact, we could have been siblings. From our eyes to the thiness that should have looked too thin but didn't, we looked very, very similar.

I smiled hesitantly at him, a real smile. "Cool," I said.

"We're just gonna head out, okay Sockhead?" the short one said, moving backwards. "Let's go, Lumpy," he said, and yanked the tallest one away, closing the door with a lous bang.

We studied each other a moment, and I wondered if he was thinking the same things I was.

"Remarkable," he said, voice full of awe. "To find one untied by genetics to look so similar. Absolutely remarkable."

"I agree," I said, smiling again.

"Have you found your room?" he asked, looking at me with the same wide eyes I saw in the mirror.

"Yes, I have. I took down the label with Alexis on it," I said.

"I am sorry about that. I was told your name is Alexis," he said, looking a bit sheepish.

"It is. I just prefer to be called Alex. Easier, I suppose," I said, shrugging.

"Of course. I will correct the wrong immediately," he said, and proceeded up the stairs.

I followed, though I wasn't sure why. It just seemed th proper thing to do. I didn't often communicate wth others, so I was a bit unsure of how to act, but I decided to hold with whatever seemed natural.

"There," he said, relabeling the door, this time with "Alex". It was small, but the fact that he cared enough to make the correction made me happy.

"Thank you," I said.

"Of course," he said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Are you hungry? It is five thirty, and I was planning on preparing ravioli."

"From scratch?" I asked. I was used to cooking, I wasn't good at making things from scratch.

He nodded.

"No, I haven't eaten," I said, and despite the slight discomfort I felt about eating something someone else prepared, I knew I would be spending the next two years here. We would go to high school together. We would probably be spending the majority of our time together.

It was strange. I had not shared space with anyone really since I was ten. At that point, mother and father assumed I was able to take care of myself, and so I was left alone. They checked in on me, but as I became more capable, they went from there to not until eventually, I was lucky if they came home once every few months.

"Where are your parents anyway?" I asked, following him into the kitchen.

He frowned. "Last I spoke with them, they were on their way to Los Angeles," he said.

"You know when they'll be back?" I asked, but I had a sinking feeling that maybe this boy sat in the same boat as I did.

"I do not," he said, face blank.

I frowned, thinking how to phrase my words. I was good with them on paper, but when I had to say them aloud, I had difficulty.

"You're worth more than that," I finally said, looking up at him.

He looked a bit confused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean you're worth more than just a few visits a year. You're worth love and affection and  _more than this,_ " I said, and I wasn't sure if I was talking about him or me.

He looked at me in surprise, but it slowly melted into something else. Melancholy maybe, I wasn't sure. What I did know was that it was bittersweet, and it was so damn familiar it made me want to cry.

I tilted his head up, looking at him with an intensity I hadn't felt in a long time. "You are worth it. _We_ are worth it. They don't know just how amazing we can be, but I do. We are fucking worth it, because if we weren't, we wouldn't have endured," I said.

He looked about to say something, but he didn't. Instead, he hugged me, and despite my surprise, I hugged him back.

"Thank you," he said, and right then, I knew that we would be okay. because this was what we needed. This is what  _I_ needed. The comfort of someone's arms around me, the knowledge that someone else knew the hell I had endured, to have someone to protect. And I would protect him. I would protect him with everything I had, because I could see the echoes of my own lonliness living in him, and I would not let him be consumed like I was consumed.

I was amazed by this knowledge. The knowledge that the maternal instinct was so strong, that I was so capable to make this kind of connection with someone so quickly. It made me hope. Surely I could get better. I could make bonds and not feel so empty. Maybe I might be able to sleep at night, though I somehow doubted that.

He pulled away and smiled at me. "You are certainly worth it as well," he said and went back to making dinner.

And really, I wasn't sure I needed anything more from another person than those words.

I repeated them back in my head, rolled them across my tongue.

No combination of words had ever tasted sweeter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment please, and enjoy.


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song:  
> Don't trust me by 3Oh!3

Time passed quickly this way. We spent the two months before school began to develop a a new way of behaving. Neither of us were used to living with another person anymore, so we had to find a way to be comfortable and still respect each other, though in all honesty, it wasn't too difficult. We both took up very little space both physically and emotionally. A few things had to change, like I couldn't crank my music to bone shaking volumes anymore, and occasionally I had to listen to classical (though that was rather calming when I was writing), but overall, the only major difference was that there were two of us rather than one.

And, well. Occasionally, there were four.

"Sockhead! We're coming in!" the loud one (I think Double D said Eddy?) called, and I watched him drag the other one (Ed I think) into the living room.

"Oh. You're here," Eddy(?) said, looking me over. He stood shorter than me by maybe an inch, but the way he looked at me was like he was looking down at me.

"Yes, I am," I said, feeling a challenge bubble up in me.

I knew I wasn't the strongest, but I also knew I would not sit and take condescending bullshit. I had had more than enough of it through the years.

"Eddy, be nice. She's going to be here until we graduate, so I believe it would be best for you two to get along, if not become friends," Double D said.

Eddy grimaced, looking over at me. "Doesn't she already get enough of your time?" he asked.

"Really, you're gonna get all possessive?" I quipped, my natural sassiness coming out a bit.

"He was my friend before he was yours, and I don't want you taking him from me," he said.

"What makes you think I wanna take him from you?" I asked.

"The stupid note," he snapped, and my brow furrowed.

"What note?" I said, looking over at Double D.

He looked uncomfortable. "My parents may or may not have left a note saying that you were here to sway my taste in friends," he said.

I kinda looked at him a moment, then at Eddy, who was glaring at me.

"Good lord, chica, take a chill pill," I told Eddy, rolling my eyes. "I'm not stealing him from you. Double D can be friends with anyone he wants, it's his life."

Eddy seemed to study me. "Really?"

"Yeah, really," I rsponded, rolling my eyes, but I smiled nonetheless.

He grinned. "Alright then. Sockhead, she got any talwnts we can capitalize on?" he asked.

"She is rather good at writing and dancing," he said.

"Excellent," Eddy said.

"Hey, hey, hey. Let's step back a bit. I am not going to be a part of any money making schemes, no way, no how. My writing is mine, and there is nothing you can do or say that will convince me to dance in front of other people or a camera, got it?" I said, looking him dead in the eye.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I'm not comfortable showcasing my talents to people who may judge me," I said, crossing my arms.

"Double D does his science stuff all the time, why can't you show your stuff?" he asked.

"It's not good enough yet," I said.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" he asked, moving toward the staircase.

"Oh, hell no. You most certainly do not get to look at my work, nope, not happening," I said, standing in his way.

"Why not?" he asked, completely confused.

"Because it's mine, and if I say it's not good enough, it's not good enough. No one else is allowed to judge my writing until I've decided it's good enough for me, okay?" I said, though it wasn't a question.

He looked confused.

"Eddy, it is like me not turning in my homework until I'm sure it is perfect," Double D said, and understanding flashed across Eddy's face.

"Why didn't you say that earlier?" Eddy asked, backking away from the staircase.

I relaxed. His attention seemed to be elsewhere, so I went into the kitchen to make snacks, and brought out a plate of assorted fruits.

Double D immediately took blueberries, but my hands reached for raspberries.

I listened to Eddy plan a whole scheme carefully, covering everything, but you could tell it wouldn't work. They needed something more solid, based on something that wouldn't fall apart. Something that would account for the other people.

"Who is your target audience?" I asked.

"Why does it matter? Anyone will do," he said, going back to the plan.

"It's too general," I said, frowning.

"What do you mean?" Double D asked.

"I mean sure, you can do something that touches a little on everyone, but that would be like someone writing a book with every major genre. People aren't gonna buy it," I said.

"Elaborate, please," Double D said, and I considered.

"If you pick one group of people to market to, you can narrow it down so that the product is higher quality. If I write a decent romance novel, I can guarantee that people that enjoy romance will buy it, yeah? Same works for any other product. Sell to one group of people, cater to their wants and needs. Then you can for sure get some sales," I said.

"And who should we be selling to?" Eddy asked, skeptical.

"The people everyone strives to be. Pick the most popular person in the school, cater exactly to them, and other people will buy simply for the sake of being cool," I said.

Eddy stared at me a moment, then a wide grin streched across his face. "That's perfect. We sell to Kevin, and everyone else follows suit. Sockhead, we might actually have someone smarter than you," he said.

I shook my head. "No. I just understand people. Double D totally kicks ass in the technical shit," I said smiling at him.

He smiled back.

"Alright, here's the plan," Eddy began, changing the tactic.

"It's gonna take time," Double D said. "It will carryinto the school year."

"That's good," I said. "Better when people see each other often, it allows it to spread quickly," I said, somehow dragged in.

"Ed, you'll have to talk to the other football players, and help me collect peices," Double D said, glncing up.

"Of course, Double D. I am good help," he said.

"Eddy, you're going to have to not upset anyone. No fights with Kevin. He won't buy if he's pissed at you," I said.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it," he said.

"Good," I said, then looked at each of them. "You guys ready?"

"Yeah," Eddy said, all lit up. "We're ready,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment please, and enjoy.


	4. Chapter Three

School came sooner than I wanted it to.

I got out of bed at five thirty and immediately used the shower, setting the temperature as high as possible without scalding my skin in hopes of burning away the nerves of going to a new school.

I stepped out after about ten minutes, not wanting to waste unnecesary water. I applied mascara and a light layer of eyeliner, going for simple, and only for me, and quickly changed into one of the ten outfits I had okayed to wear to school.

I wore black skinny jeans with a white button-up shirt and a back vest. It ooked rather fashionable, but that was not the point of it. It was a no nonsense outfit, something that stated I was not hereto blend into the flock of immature sheep, but to further my education. It had worked for the last five years, and it would work for the next two.

I was lured down the stairs by the smell of waffes and chocolate. I took my messenger bag with me, filled with notebooks, pencils, paper, and my laptop for the lunch period in the case that I decided I should want to do some writing. The bag rested comfortably on my hip, and sat on my shoulder in such a way that it wasn't a burden.

"Good morning, Alex. May I interest you in some freshly made chocoate chip waffles?" Double D asked, smiling at me like he had a great nights sleep.

I nodded, taking a seat at the table, smoothing the vest though it was in pristine condition. I hadn't eaten well in the last few days due to the nerves that came with going to a new school, and it would certainly be good for me to eat a proper breakfast. Perhaps it would even ease my frayed nerves.

Double D placed the plate in front of me just as Eddy and Ed burst through the door, loud and obnoxious for six in the morning.

"Quiet, Lumpy, it's too early," eddy said, his own voice loud and almost grating at the early hour.

"Gentleman, if you would please quiet down. It is still early, and I need a bit more time to awaken fully," Double D said, and immediately the two quieted, using their inside voices.

"Sorry, Double D," Ed said, grabbing five waffles and half inhaling them.

Eddy took one as well, no plate, and ate in the kitchen, while Double D and I sat at the table eating neatly.

"So, today we start the scheme?" Eddy asked hopefully.

"Not yet, Eddy. We need at least two weeks to get comfortable in out school schedules, and then we may begin our grand scheme," Doube D said, and though Eddy groaned in irritation, he was resigned. He had known that he would have to wait, and then maybe even wait longer if I decided the dynamic would not work for a scheme yet.

"Alright, alright. I got it. So, we takin' Lumpy's car?" Eddy asked, and I cringed, looking at Double D pleadingly.

"No, that will be quite alright. Alex's father sent her a car last night so that she would have proper transportation to and from school," Double D said.

"He did?" I asked. I had not been told of this.

"Yes. As congratulations for passing your driver's test upon the first try," he said, and I felt a smile strech across my lips.

My parents certainly made the money to buy extravagant gifts, but had decided early on that to best teach me the value of money, they would put me on a very careful allowance, and whatever I made on that allowance would pay for groceries, any internet, cable, or a phone, and then any other purchases I decided on. It was how I had gotten my laptop and internet, and groceries every two weeks.

So really, I had every right to be pleasantly surprised.

"What kind of car?" I asked, almost childlike glee consuming me.

"I do believe  it is a Chevrolet Malibu," he said, looking at me with curiosity.

"Oh my god. That is so perfect," I said, smiling widely.

"May I ask why?" he asked.

"The gas mileage is fantastic, and has some of the best sound quality you can find in a car," I said.

He laughed. "Of course," he said, smiling at me.

"Judge all you want, but I hope you know that I get to pick the music we listen to," I said.

Double D agreed after a bit of laughter, and Ed and Eddy simply listened and watched.

We left at seven, half an hour before school began, and I spent the entire drive there smiling like a complete idiot, yet too happy to care.

We got good parking, a perk of showing up early, and walked inside to reveal a rather nice looking building. It was obviously old as shown by the marble used for most of the walls and the staircase, and the many archways covered poorly by newer sets of doors, which I found absolutely ridiculous.

"A rather nice building, isn't it?" Double D asked, smiling at me.

Eddy made some remark and dragged Ed away, saying something about looking for his locker and shit.

"The architecture is beautiful. So much more..." I struggled for the correct word to use.

"Refined?" Double D asked, and I nodded.

"That's perfect. Much more refined than my old school. Do any of the students match the school?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"Unfortunately, there is only the two of us," he said apologeticaly.

"What a waste," I said, frowning.

"I do agree," Double D said, than smiled at me again. "Shall we find our lockers?"

I nodded, smiling widely.

 

\----------

 

The time passed all too quickly. First hour was Calculus, one of few I shared with Double D, followed by Music Theory, Financial management (with Double D), and Engish class. Lunch came after that, and I found myself hesitant to walk toward the commons. Maybe I should go to the library, do writing there, avoid the large group of people...

"Hey glasses, ain't ya comin' to lunch?" a familiar voice called, and I turned to see Eddy standing in the middle of the hallway, interrupting the flow of traffic.

"I have a name," I huffed when I reached him, though I was relieved to have someone to walk to lunch with. Perhaps it would be more bearabe to be among a large crowd if I were with a friend.

"Yeah, I know. You comin' or not?" he asked.

Part of me wanted to correct his poor grammar, but I knew it would simply be a lost cause. It was part of what made him the person he was, and I tried not to change people too much unless they wanted to change.

We walked toward the commons, the amount of people per square foot increasing as we progressed. I moved closer to Eddy, trying not to let my unease show.

"You aright?" he asked when we were right by the commons, and I turned to look at him.

"I have a very mild case of agoraphobia, but I should be fine within a few moments," I said, voice still even despite my anxiety.

"What's agoraphobia?" eddy asked, looking rather confused.

"A fear of crowds," I said.

He nodded, and managed to get us through the near solid wal of people.

Once we got past them, there were far less people, and I found my breath coming much more smoothly.

Double D and Ed were already seated in the center of the room, easily hidden among the other people. I went straight there, taking the seat next to Double D on the circular table.

"Hello Eddy, Alex. I trust you enjoyed your classes?" Double D asked, smiling politely at the two of us.

I nodded as Eddy went into a rant about how stupid his classes were, and I watched the people coming in, studying their faces, seeing if I could build a character based off of each of them.

After a bit, I tuned back into the conversation until suddenly, they all went a bit quiet, looking at the entryway of the room.

I turned to see a group of obnoxious boys, all too closely knit to be anything but members of the same sport, and in front, leading the pack, was a red head with a red hat worn backwards, and a boy with teal hair and a ridiculous popped collar that somehow worked for him.

"I suppose the red head is Kevin?" I asked, turning to the boys.

Double D nodded, turning back to the table, followed quickly by the other two.

"Yes. And the one beside him is Nathan. they have been best friends since freshman year," Double D said, looking a bit bored, though a tiny bit of fear showed through, though I wasn't surprised. They had been bullied by Kevin since their youth, or course it was normal for them to be afraid. Or angry, in Eddy's case.

"Did you still want to go to the library?" Double D asked, and I nodded.

"We'll stay here," eddy said, and we nodded.

I stood with Double D, following him to the trash to throw away, and then we were walking toward the archway that would lead us to the library.

I was not expecting to be stopped.

 "Nazz was right," one of the two jocks said, blocking our path. "They look like twins."

I frowned at them. "Excuse us, but we need to get around please," I said, trying for polite first.

"Oh no, the guys will get a kick out of you two. Come back to our table," the other jock said, smiling, stepping behind us while the first stayed directly in our path.

"We must politely decline, as we have work to do," Doube D said, but I sighed.

"I don't think we're getting anywhere until we humor them," I said, than looked up at the one in front of us. "You have two minutes before we leave. Use them wisely."

"Really?" he asked, and I arched an eyebrow.

"One minute and fifty-seven seconds," I said.

"Alright, come on," he said, and Double D and I followed.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he whispered, sounding nervous.

"It will be fine. This way, we can get to the library without a big hassle," I responded, though I was a bit nervous myself. Peope didn't usually take an interest in me, and I wasn't sure I wanted them to, especialy these people.

"Nazz, you were right," the first jock said to the lone girl at the table, dressed in a white tank-top over a black t-shirt, which I found odd, "they look like twins."

"Told ya," she said, smiling at us. "Hey Double D and..." she trailed off, looking at me for my name.

"Alex. I'm Alex," I said, smiling back politely.

The other jocks studied us in awe, but it wasn't their eyes I worried about, but rather the eyes of Kevin and Nathan.

"Didn't know you had any siblings, Double Dork," Kevin said, and a small flash of irritation flowed through me. His words were not overtly upsetting, but the tone of disdain that went with it irritated me.

"I do not. Our parents are simply childhood friends and she will be staying with me for the remainder of high school," he said cordially, though if you knew him well enough, you could hear the undercurrent of fear.

"No way, you gotta be related. You look way too similar not to be," Nathan said, voice slightly awed.

I shook my head. "There are a minimum of seven people on earth that look exactly like you at any given time, so our similarties are possible without blood relation," I said, and Nat laughed.

"Dude, you even sound the same. Fucking wicked," he said, a huge smile plastered across his face.

Double D frowned. "Swearing is not necessary, Nathan," he said.

"Christ, Double D. How many times do I gotta tell you my name is Nat?" he asked, and my gaze swung to him, surprised. The words sounded exactly like the ones I used every time I told my mother to call me Alex.

"I keep forgetting,"Double D said, smiling sheepishly, and it reminded me way too much of my goodbye.

I frowned at the floor, then nudged Double D.

"Two minutes are up. We're leaving," I said, and began walking away.

Double D gave a quick goodbye and jogged a bit to catch up to me.

"What was that about?" he asked, frowning a bit at me.

"Nothing of importance. Let's just get to the library," I said, and he nodded, letting it be.

I was unaware of the golden colored eyes that followed me, or the thoughts in the mind that matched them, but I'm sure it was for the best, because if I knew those thoughts, I'm sure I would have run far, far faster than I did.


	5. Chapter Four

The next couple of hours were pretty uneventful. I went to my Enviornmental Science class, World History, and finally, Independant Study.

Oh, how I wished Independant Study was more uneventful.

I sat in the back after giving the teacher my name, and immediately pulled my laptop from my bag, planning to spend the entire time writing, maybe looking up music as motivation, but I was not planning to slack off. I knew the other students would, but I had no desire to join them.

I didn't recognize most of the people that walked in, though a few I recognized from my earlier classes, such as the tall boy who looked like he would start the apocalypse any moment, though I couldn't remember his name, and a few other girls.

The bell had just begun ringing when Nat walked in, a cocky grin plastered on his face, and I heard the teacher sigh.

"I ask you be in your seat when class starts, Mr....?" the teacher began.

"Goldberg. Nat Goldberg, king of butts," he said, grinning all the wider as my nose crinkled in irritation.

"Take a seat please, Mr. Goldberg," the teacher said, unimpressed.

"You got it," he said, turning to look for a seat.

I kept my eyes glued to the screen in hopes that like the others, he did not sit next to me. 

Luck was not on my side.

"Hey! You're that Alex chick, aren't you? The smart one that hangs out with Double D," he said, dropping into the chair next to me. It was the only other seat at the table, and put him within a foot of me.

"Alright, I hope you're comfortable with who you're seated next to, because these are your seats for the quarter unless I move you," the teacher said, and I made some smal sound of irritation.

"What? don't want to sit next to me?" he asked grinning.

"Don't want to sit next to anyone," I mummbed, opening a new word document.

"Why not?" he asked, looking at me with golden colored eyes.

I stared at him a moment, an entire character building around the color of his eyes.

"What?" he asked. "I totally get I'm hot, I would stare..." he began.

"Shut up please, I'm busy," I said, then began typing the character sheet for Kayden.

"Staring at me?" he asked.

"There's a character in that eye color, so just shut up while I build them, okay?" I said, and I wasn't concerned about the rumors or consequences of staring at the boy. I was too consumed by the need to create this character.

He held still, smirking, saying nothing as I alternated between looking at his eyes, the slight rays going through them, and the screen, slowly being filled with words.

"Alright, you can do whatever," I said as I finished the character, a small smile spreading across my lips.

"Can you tell me about this character? you know, since I'm responsible for their creation?" he asked, and I considered.

"I guess. His name is Kayden. Incubus, aged 28, physically 18. Subserviant personality, master of malipulation of light particles. Highly intelligent, though hidden behind the subservient exterior. White hair, pale complexion. I don't know anything beyond that yet," I said, eyes scrolling over the information an the screen.

"Incubus?" he asked looking confused.

"Figure it out yourself," I said, saving the document, opening a new one so I could start of the story I had originally planned.

He suddenly jerked, and I felt more than saw him turn towards me.

I spared him a gance, noticing the massive grin streched across his face.

"What?" I asked.

He grinned wider, if possible. "Oh, you know, just ooked up incubus. Says here it's a demon that feeds on sex," he said, and I was almost sure he expected me to blush, to be embarrassed.

"That's right," I said, and turned back to my laptop.

"You gonna write a sex scene?" he asked, trying yet again to embarrass me.

"Most likely," I said, not sparing him a glance.

His jaw dropped, and once again I glanced at him, smiling just the tiniest bit.

"You look surprised, Nat," I said, and he closed his mouth, though he was still looking at me in surprise.

I didn't understand what was coming over me. I did not act like this. If someone else where doing this, I would almost say the way I was acting was coy, but it was me, and I was not coy. No, I was cool, collected. Not coy.

He seemed to recover, smiling at me, and it looked almost flirtatious. "Didn't know you were into that stuff," he said, sliding just a touch closer. though I don't know if he actually realized what he was doing.

"I'm not paticularly. That's simply how the character developed, and I'm... good at it," I forced out because unfortunately, I was. Mature writing came naturally to me, and as much as it had upset me initially, I had slowly come to terms with this fact. I was good at smut, and there was no getting around it.

"And how'd you get good at it?" he asked.

"I do a lot of reading," I said, turning back to my computer screen. "That, and I seem to have a talent in writing it."

"I'd like to read it sometime," he said.

"Yeah, and I'd like to discover the meaning of life, but I severely doubt that will happen anytime soon," I said, trying to tune him out.

"Oh, come on. That's not fair," he said, and I looked at him over my glasses, a look that said he was being ridiculous.

"Shit, you're attractive," he said, and I blinked at him, frowned and looked away, confused. People did not call me attractive.

"You look confused," he said, smiling at me again.

"I am confused," I said.

"Why?" he asked, and I looked over at him.

"What brings you to the conclusion I'm attractive?" I asked, and he laughed.

"What, has no one called you attractive before?" he asked, and I simply looked at him.

"Wait, really? Never? But you're so hot," he said, and I felt the slightest blush crawl across my cheeks though I tried frantically to stop it.

"Then either no one else notices, or your perception is skewed somehow. I'm going to bet on the latter," I said, and turned back to my screen.

"Well, I think it's the former," he said, and I sighed.

"Look, as entertaining as this conversation is, I'm a bit busy at the moment, as you can see," I said, and I wondered why I hadn't said that earlier.

"But I'll be bored," he whined playfully, reachin out to tug on the tuft of hair behind my ear.

I made a small sound of surprise, and batted his hand away. "Don't do that," I said, frowning at him.

"Oh, but you get all flustered, and it's cute," he said, his smile turning impish.

"Don't you have any work to do?" I asked, still frowning.

"Nope. It's kinda the first day, and teachers don't tend to give out homework the first day of school," he said, reclining in his chair.

"Perhaps they should," I mumbled, trying one last time to return to my work.

"Not all of us love school like you and Double D," he said.

"Of course not. If everyone were like Double D and I, it would be a rather boring place. You need diversity in order to make things interesting," I said.

"Why don't you explain that," he said, turning in his seat so he was facing me directly.

"I really shoud work on this," I said, hesitant.

"I promise I won't tell anyone you were staring deeply into my eyes for like ten minutes," he sing-songed, and I paled.

"Alright," I said, and went into detail on how even the smalest of differences could make a difference in how people interracted, and before I new it, the bell was ringing.

"Shit, I gotta go," I said, quickly placing my laptop in my bag.

"Language, Alex," he said, trying to imitate Double D from earlier in the day.

I hesitated a moment about to leave.

"Alexis," I said, making eye contact, then quickly loping out of the room, to my car where the other boys were surely waiting.

My heart beat a bit out of rythmn, and despite the medical implications, I found I like the feeling.


	6. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaking it up, gonna use Nat's point of view.

Alexis. I liked it, but... it wasn't her. It didn't fit her right. Maybe if she were more shy, more kawaii it would fit her, but she was not Alexis. She was Alex.

But still. She had told me her name. I wondered why. If she just wanted me to know, why didn't she say it when being introduced at lunch? Maybe it slipped her mind? No, that wasn't right I don't think. I think it went with my comment maybe. Language, Alex. Language, Alexis.

It rolled more smoothly with Alexis. I could practically see her blushing if I ever said it to her.

"Yo, Nat! You daydreaming or something?" one of the guys called, Aaron, one of the two that had brought Alex and Double D to the lunch table.

I grinned at him. "Nah, man. Just on my way to the parking lot, looking for Kevin," I said.

"Cool, man. See ya tomorrow," he said, and I watched him walk away.

I dropped my bag in my locker, and went to the parking lot, and saw Alex sitting next to what could easily be classified as one of the nicest cars in the lot. She was reading, and I was tempted to go over and talk to her, but then the othe Eds were there, making some noise about some sort of scan, though it was mostly Eddy.

"Eddy, shut up please. We will talk about it when we get home and I can decompress. I have some psychological recovery to do," she said, and her eyes flashed to me.

I hadn't even realized she knew I was there. I grinned at her and watched her roll her eyes, and get in the car.

The grin stayed on my face as I walked over to where Kevin and Nazz were, both chatting about classes.

"Sup amigos," I said, and Kevin nodded at me while Nazz smiled.

"Hey, Nat. How'd school go?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Pretty good. No homework. So kev, we still gonna hang?" I asked.

"Yeah, man. Unless you got something else to do?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow, a movement that immediately imagined on Alex. It fit.

I was about to comment, but then Blurred Lines started blaring, and I looked over to see it coming from Alex's car, and large grin spread across her face.

As they passed, I faintly heard the others complaining, though Double D wasn't one of them, and she glanced at me, a small smile pulling on the corners of her mouth.

And she wondered why I thought she was hot.

"Hey Goldberg, what was that?" Kevin asked, eyes trailing after the car.

"Tell you when we get to your place, yeah? I'll meet you there," I said, running over to my car.

Kevin left then, waving one last time to Nazz before pealing out of the parking lot.

I followed, occasionally pulling up next to Kevin right before he sped up, flipping me the bird with a wide grin.

When we got back to the cul-de-sac, you could faintly hear the music from Double D's place, and I grinned widely.

I followed Kevin in, grabbing a shit ton of snacks from his kitchen, collapsing onto his couch, grinning.

"So, you wanna explain why you grinned when that chick smiled at you?" Kev asked, and i shrugged, but grinned wider.

"I sit next to her in Independant study," I said.

"That doesn't tell me shit," he said.

"Yeah, I know. I sat next to her cause I felt like it, and so we get to sit next to each other for the quarter, and we talked and stuff, though I'm pretty sure I annoyed the shit out of her for like half the class period," I said, and he frowned.

"Why would she smile if you annoy her?" he asked, putting in a game.

"I think it's because of the song," I said.

"What about it?" he asked.

I just grinned at him, grabbing a controller.

"Nat, don't pull this shit," he warned, and I grinned at him.

"What shit?" I asked.

"You're an ass," he said.

"If you really wanna know, we could go ask her. I bet she'd like that," I said jokingly.

He seemed to actually consider it. "Alright, we'll do that. Let's go," he said.

I followed him, because it was my idea, but I hadn't been serious. Not even a little, though I was pretty excited about seeing her again. Maybe I could even get her to blush again, maybe swear a bit.

He banged on the door, and then there was her voice.

"Double D, you stay there, I'll get rid of them," she said, the door swinging open.

"Oh," she said, looking disappointed. "It's you guys. What do you want?"

"That was friendly," Kevin commented, and she blinked, then seemed to realize what she said.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. What's up?"

"Nat is a secret keeping ass, and I want answers," Kev said, and she glared at me.

"So help me, if you even  _hinted..._ " she began, letting it trail off.

"Look, what does the song you were blaring in the parking lot have to do with that smile you gave him if he annoys you?" Kevin asked, and she blinked, then frowned.

"We were talking about music," she said, and there was no hesitation. She lied so smoothly, for a second, even I believed it.

"That's it?" he asked, looking at me.

I grinned.

"Dipshit," he said, then glanced at her. "Sorry. Didn't mean to waste your time."

She smiled, and it was the nicest, sweetest smile I had ever seen. "Not your fault. Some people are just assholes," she said, and actually managed to pull a augh from Kevin, something that had taken me a whoe week of friendship to do.

"Yeah. See you at school," he said, and she smiled. 

I followed after him, because I really couldn't just stand there, but my thoughts stayed with that.

She lied like it was nothing. Like it was so common it wasn't even worth stressing over, and I wondered just what it was that she lied about that got her to that level of practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, it's really short! I couldn't get into a good writing mode. It'll be better tomorrow, promise.


	7. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've tried so many times to write this chapter, this is the last attempt. if it sucks, I'm sorry.

I closed the door gently, ignoring the questioning on Nat's face.

"Who was that?" Eddy asked, and I smirked.

"Kevin wanted an answer to something," I said, and and watched the scowl strech across Eddy's face.

"Stupid shovel chin, interrupting. Now, as I was saying, what's it look like so far?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Personally, I think you should get a job in sales. Kevin does not seem suceptable to anything you could cook up," I said, and he looked at me in horror.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"It means our dear Kevin is far too jaded to fall for a ploy of yours. It will not work," I said.

Double D looked at me. "This is your honest opinion?" he asked.

"Yes, it is. It would too much trouble for no results," I said.

"But this was gonna be the one that made us rich!" Eddy exclaimed.

I shrugged. "You could go out and get a job just like everyone else," I said.

Eddy frowned.

"Why are you so against that?" I asked.

He glared. "I'm not gonna turn out like my dad, alright?" he asked, and I blinked in surprise, then furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Okay then. Don't turn out like your dad," I said.

He scoffed. "You don't get it," he said.

"No, I don't. If you don't want to be like him, make a list of things he is, and don't be those things," I said, and he kinda just stared at me.

"There's no way it's that easy," he said.

"Why not? I don't want to turn out like my parents, so I made a list of things they are and avoided it like the plague," I said.

"Does it work?" he asked, quiet.

"Yeah," I said.

He frowned. "Can we do that?"  he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Let me go get a notebook and pencil."

We sat down then, listing all of the things that his dad was, and by the time we were done, it was eight at night.

"This seem about right?" I asked, handing him the papers.

He skimmed over them. "Yeah," he said, a small smile streching across his lips.

I smiled at him. "Good," I said.

"Alright, you two really must go. I need to tidy up and then go to bed," Double D said, and they grumbled, but did as was asked.

We got ready for bed, and he wished me a good night, and we both disappeared into our rooms.

I waited a half hour, knowing that he was asleep by then, and pulled on a pair of jeans, and climbed out the window.

I walked out past the the construction site to the woods, following th trail that would lead to my favorite hiding place.

I climbed up the tree, getting up to the platformthat overlooked the forest floor, someplace quiet where I could think.

The forest was quiet. The occasinal rustle of the bushes were easily credited to the squirrels, and I let myself be lulled into a state of relaxation. Sleep wouldn't come, but I took this time to allow stress to melt away, and it worked pretty well th majority of the time.

There were voices on the ground.

"Where do you think she went?" a voice asked, and I looked down to see Kevin and Nat trekking along the forest floor.

I held very still, having no intention of letting them know where I was.

"I have no idea," Kevin said, glancing around, and I thanked whatever diety was up there that humans didn't often think to look up.

"She did go in here, didn't she?" nat asked, and Kevin nodded.

"Yeah, I saw her," he said.

They walked further into the woods, and the idea flashed I could probably follow them.

I got down slilently, and for about a half hour, I followed them. They were completely unaware of my presence until finally, I cleared my throat.

They spun around, and I raised an eyebrow at them.

"Is there a reason you followed me in here?" I asked, and they glanced at each other.

"We wanted to know why you would go into the woods in the middle of the night," Nat said, and I scoffed.

"You walked into the woods in the middle of the night to find out why I did. What if there was a serial killer or some shit? Or I was calling Satan?" I asked, and Nat scoffed while Kevin rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, why are you out here?" he asked.

"I always come out here. Fresh air, helps clear my head," I said.

"Don't you sleep?" Nat asked, and I shrugged.

He frowned, but didn't question it. 

"Now, you two should go home. You have school tomorrow, and the best way to get educated is with a good eight hours of sleep," I said, and they groaned.

"You really gonna spout that crap?" Kevin asked.

"Yep. Now go," I said, and they grumbled, but walked away, and for a moment, I just stood there, frowning at their retreating figures.

I didn't like this. Didn't like that they took enough of an interest in me to follow me into the woods. Didn't like that they noticed me at all. I liked my privacy, liked when people pretended I didn't exist.

This was going to be a problem.


	8. An apology

Sup guys. I understand it's been ten thousand years since the last time I've written anyhthing for this story, and I'm really sorry about that. Life's been happening and I lost a lot of will to do anything, but I'm finally getting back into writing and this story is first on the list to be worked on, so hooray! Thanks for sticking with it, and hopefully I'll hear from you guys on the next chapter.


	9. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im trying to get back into writing, please don't judge me

I was tired. Oh so very tired. I hadn't slept at all despite my best efforts. Something about the new place was making it impossible to get to sleep. 

Not that it would have made a difference anyway.

The shower was cold when I finally got in, and it helped to make me more alert, helped me regain my senses. It was still early, too early to really justify waking Double D up, but I was restless. Jittery. The run in with Kevin and Nat had shaken me. I couldn't even remember the last time someone had taken enough interest in me to follow me around, but I knew the memory was not a pleasant one. Knew if I took the time to remember it fully it would leave me more restless and jittery than I already was.

Food. Food would help. I had spent most of the night dancing and writing and doing just about anything to tire myself out, and though it worked, I had still not been tired enough to sleep. Food would give me the energy I needed to stay awake.

I made some frozen waffles, a staple in my grocery list. Simple, easy, fast. Also, incredibly sugary if you bought the ones with chocolate chips in them. I wasn't sure what else there was to do. I had wasted as much time as I could in one night, and honestly, I didn't think I could stand to write one more word for the story I had started.

It was getting close to five, which was when Double D usually woke up, so I decided to just turn on the tv, turning to whatever was playing. This early in the morning, it was mostly infomercials, but i wasn't exactly looking for quality entertainment.

My mind began to wander. I watched the ceiling, my eyes unfocused. For a moment, I let myself think about the life I had left behind. The quiet echo in my old house, the way Mom never looked me in the eye. Honestly, I didn't know why she had kept me. It was obvious she and Dad never truly had time to care for a child, so why on earth had they had one? Why had they had me?

My chest ached. I didn't let myself think about them much. I wanted to think it was because they didn't mean much to me, but that wasn't true. I knew it was because of this. I hated to hurt. Hated that when I thought of my mother, I couldn't see her eyes. I didn't even know what color they were. But even more, I didn't know why it mattered to me so much. She had never cared enough to notice my name, so it would be fair for me to not care about her eye color.

That's what I told myself at least.

The creak of the stairs jolted me from my state of distraction. Double D came down the stairs, yawning loudly. I watched him rub his eyes absentmindedly, heading for the kitchen to turn on the stove.

"Morning," I offered, and watched as he turned toward me, seeming too tired to actually process what I was saying.

"Good morning," I tried again, and this time he smiled, sleep slow and honeyed. 

"Good morning, Alex," he replied. "Would you like scrambled eggs?"

"That sounds good," I said, moving from the couch to the the peninsula. "Did you sleep well?"

He smiled. "I slept well. A perfect eight hours," he said, gleaming in pride. As though he hadn't gone to bed at 9 pm.

"That's really good," I said, and he didn't ask me how I slept. I don't know how he knew not to ask, but he never had, and for that I was grateful. The last thing I wanted to do was try and explain that I hadn't slept in a solid year.

A knock at the door had me surprised. Ed and Eddy normally walked right in, and it was 5 'o clock in the morning.

I went to the door hesitantly, praying it wasn't Kevin or Nat. I did not want to explain to Double D what I was doing last night.

It was Ed that greeted me.

"Eddy is sick today and so I came here for breakfast," he said, and then he was walking past me, looking mostly awake except for the dark circles under his eyes.

"Oh, good morning Ed. Is Eddy unwell?"  Double D asked, brow furrowing.

"Yes," Ed responded, taking an apple from the table and biting off a messy chunk, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

"What a shame," Double D said, but I was distracted. I almost never saw Ed without Eddy attached. I mean, I knew they weren't always together, but Ed seemed more relaxed, less wound up and excited. I wasn't sure what I thought of it.

"Alex, it's rude to stare," Double D commented, and I looked away, moving to start up a round of coffee.

"It's fine, Double D. Lots a people stare," Ed said, and for a moment, I could almost hear sadness in his voice.

"It's still rude," Double D replied, back to making the eggs.

The smell of coffee had my mouth watering more though.

"Do you want any?" I offered Ed, knowing Double D would say no. He always said no.

"Yes, please," he replied, taking the cup from me very carefully, as though afraid he would drop it.

The way he acted was odd. He reminded me a bit of the girl I used to babysit, Amie. She had been 12 when I was 14, but her parents thought that the autism left her incapable of functioning on her own.

I didn't say anything. It would be rude to ask, I was sure of it. You didn't ask if someone had a mental illness unless they were in immediate need of assistance.

"So, what classes are you taking Ed?" I asked, trying to start a conversation.

Ed turned to dig around in his backpack, handing me a crumpled sheet of his schedule. Sure enough, special ed classes. Autistic I was betting.

"You have a favorite?" I asked, looking over the teacher list, most of which I couldn't even pronounce the names of.

"I like my engineering class. Mr. Beurgell is very funny," he replied, smiling, widely, and I tried my best to return it.

"That's pretty cool. I actually am really liking my physics class. The guy that sits next to me makes a lot of puns about what the teacher has to say," I commented, starting to smile when I thought of some of the boy's jokes.

"Puns are very funny, right Double D?" Ed answered, sporting his own grin.

Double D smiled, looking between the two of us curiously. "Yes, they are," he said before setting the food in front of us. The conversation broke off then, and we all ate in silence except for the comments of how good the food was.

Ed talked easily, about his classes, his summer, how Sarah was doing. She was a freshman this year, and had told Ed not to screw things up for him by being so weird, and for a moment, I felt very sad for him, for how he seemed to be treated at home. I knew how subhuman Amie's parents had sometimes treated her, like she wasn't real, wasn't a person with feelings.

"If you want, I could embarrass her," I offered, and he laughed, loud and obnoxious, but still himself, and I was glad he was so comfortable with me.

"No, Sarah would be very mean to me if she found it you were my friend and I told you it was okay," he said, and I left it at that, because making him laugh had been the goal after all.

I was quiet after that, letting Ed and Double D fall into their natural banter, smiling every now and again at how close they were. It was nice to see Double D so happy, and for another moment I let my mind wander back to my mother, and how I almost wished I could tell her that things might be making a turn for the better.

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be fun. Please comment and kudos, and enjoy. X)


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